I was driving home at 3am last night (ugh don't ask...well, ok, me Dan & Kyle were at an Evil Robot Us' & etc. show in New London) and I came across this broadcast of what sounded like a talk radio show out of Boston (no idea how I was getting the signal all the way down here, although it was kinda fuzzy most of the time). The show was The John and Jeff Show, which from the website that I just found on them seems like it's a pretty big show, and national. Well, I'd never heard of them, and maybe it was just because of the static, but it sounded to me like a pretty amateur talk show. Oh, well. Obviously I've no idea. In any case, when I tuned in the guys were talking to Daniel, a boy who seemed to be calling because he has trouble meeting girls. J&J got on his case because he sounded desperate (he did) and seemed to think that flaunting his money would get him dates (he pointed out that he drove a Jag and still couldn't score a babe). J&J said that girls don't want desperate, they want a guy who is "together" and that one day, when Daniel least expects it, he'll meet a girl. There were other issues I had with some of their advice, but this especially got to me. Because I think unless the girl is desperate, too, she doesn't want a guy who is out "hunting for a girlfriend"! I don't know why they didn't point that out, specifically. A girl wants the guy who sees her, the guy who is struck by her beauty, the guy who meets her and digs the conversation, the guy who wants HER. Not the guy for whom anybody'll do (or at least any of what they consider hot), or who just seem to be out shopping every time you run into them at a party. As cheesy as it is, girls like the romance. Yes, the girl does want a guy who is "together", but part of that is a guy who doesn't feel incomplete without his female accessory, aka Girlfriend v1.0. We girls want a guy who is content with himself, who by meeting us only makes his life better and makes both of us better people. THAT is why he would find a girl when he's not looking - because it's not ABOUT "looking", or it shouldn't be. It should be about living your life, and eventually finding that person who complements you so well that it seems like no one else will do. But you can't go hunting for that person, I don't think.
Maybe I'm completely wrong. In fact, I'm certain there are people out there who disagree with me. But I think most would agree with the basic concept. I don't know, maybe I've just been lucky, but I haven't ever been out there "on the prowl" for a boyfriend. I spent long stretches of my life single, and as they say those times taught me a lot about myself, and helped me grow into meeting a boy I feel does complement me. (And who compliments me too, I guess!) I guess I'm getting all cliched here, and I know it's different for everybody. I guess I just wanted to get my thoughts out. I wanted to call into the show last night, but they gave no number before I got home. Besides, I probably would've pussied out. But at least I can share (vent?) my thoughts here. Girls out there, I hope you agree with me. Boys, let that be a lesson to you. xoxo
TITLE: The Overspent American
AUTHOR: Juliet B. Schor
TITLE: One-Night Stands with American History
AUTHOR: Richard Shenkman & Kurt Reiger