Friday, June 24, 2005


You want to know one of my biggest pet peeves? When an author uses a word that a dictionary doesn't seem to have. Or even TWO dictionaries don't seem to have. I was reading along in The Plot Against America (which while kind of slow going is very good, and does the subject matter very well - I would never be able to write with such what sounds like authority about a made-up alternate history!) and Mr. Roth uses the word "sweatbaths". Now, I had an inkling I knew what that was, but decided to go ahead and look it up anyway...turns out neither nor Merriam-Webster @ have a definition for the word. I did a Google search on it and found I was right, that it is indeed something like a sauna, but's obviously a word that is or at least at one time was in common, everyday use, and yet it's not defined. I don't understand! And this is definitely not the first time it's happened to me. Why would a dictionary choose *not* to include a word? I mean I know they choose not to go with slang or words they fear might be transient, but...sweatbaths?

Seems like a nice, solid word to me.

Anyway, not much is up otherwise. I didn't feel well enough to go out with Tanya & Co. tonight like I had planned, to see Federal Bison play. But I really really hope I get to see Tanya sometime soon!! Like next week would be good. :) Tomorrow is supposed to be wicked hot, so I probably won't move much, except maybe to see a movie. Land of the Dead came out today and I wanted to see that, but it depends on if Dan could convince a friend to drive him all the way up to Plainville to watch it, which would be silly. I mean I know I have a car & I could make it down to Waterbury but I'm so damn tired of driving these days, I need a break.

Saturday I might also see Marsha one last time before she leaves for Japan (!), but I know she is busy with her last few days of prep, so probably not. But I have this great feeling she is going to ROCK it over there! I hope she loves it. I will miss her, but she totally deserves a great time, she's worked so hard! I think it will be great. And who knows, maybe I'll visit her! :) Yay.

And Sunday I get to go *sailing* with the family on our friend's boat, I've always, always loved that. I can't wait. Should be a perfect thing to do in this kind of weather - the shore is always so nice no matter how hot it gets. And I adore BJ and Barbara and their family.

Okay well I'm gonna go for now...didn't even think I'd write this much! I will add more soon. <3

p.s. My friends recently (as always) have been absolute lifesavers. The green kind. :) Haha no but especially Jen and Christine, you guys rock my world. I don't know what I'd do without you. Jen, thanks for the fun movie & for listening & being there! <3 Christine, thank you again so so so much for stopping by for coffee on your way up to Boston from Potown. You managed to turn my day around because I was that happy to see you! And for that I am unbelievably thankful. <3 I have such great friends.

Currently Reading:

TITLE: The Plot Against America
AUTHOR: Philip Roth

Thursday, June 23, 2005

the downward spiral

I think I'm slipping into one of my Depressions. This week has been really hard for me. It's a lot of things. I hate how one thing just makes it come just like that, though. And usually it's another thing out of the blue, no predicting what, that makes it go away again. God, I wish I could find that magic button to turn it off again.

Right now I just feel apathy, I dunno. But I am also getting angry & upset at everything. I have these up moments that are so good, but then I am left to stew, left to my own devices, and it's just a downward spiral from there. I wish I didn't take it out on everyone else. I wish I could just lock myself in my room with a good book and something sugary like candy or frosting and wait it out. I hate what I see myself doing and saying, and yet there seems to be no way to stop it.

I'm sorry, to everyone I'm hurting right now. Or just being downright mean or unfair to. I know I have said some bad things, but I never feel like they are unfounded things, even if they are said in the wrong way because right now I don't have the ability to temper them with common sense or normal emotion. Everything right now is heightened, especially my emotions. Mostly the bad ones.

Currently Reading:

TITLE: The Plot Against America
AUTHOR: Philip Roth

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


I'm so tired today. I feel like ass. Why isn't it the weekend yet??

My sisters and I are excited for the new Stella show that's coming out on Comedy Central soon. Not that I am going to see it, since I don't have or watch TV, but hell maybe I'll see a download or a DVD of it eventually. I love those guys - The State is one of my all-time favorite shows. I still remember watching it pretty religiously back when I was in 8th grade...

I wish I had a more exciting life, so I could actually post things that were worthwhile on this site. Hmmm the other day I saw Batman Begins, I guess that is news, haha. It was all right, although even if just for nostalgia value, I liked the older Tim Burton ones better. But the story of this new one was pretty neat; I really liked seeing how Batman came about. One of my big problems with it was that I'm not a huge fan of Christian Bale, I guess. Well, I said that wrong: I am a big fan of his acting, he is very good at what he does! But ever since American Psycho, I've never been able to look at the kid the same way. Plus, I find him to be one of the ugliest actors I have ever encountered. Don't get me wrong, he has his moments, and maybe it's just partly a psychological thing having to do with his unfeeling face in American Psycho, but...he just looks ugly to me. That didn't help the movie much.

I am also 100% convinced I've seen the man who played The Scarecrow somewhere else before, but the IMDb wasn't any help. Anyone have any suggestions where I might have encountered Cillian Murphy before?

Um...I guess that's it for now. I'm staying in CT for the time being; Dan and I decided to stick around until his mom & stepdad are going to help move our big furniture out of Ithaca on the 2nd of July. I may go back up for a bit after that, but I'll mostly be moved out by the beginning of next month. Then we're just waiting for our Boston apartment to be ready! I can't wait.

That is, if Dan still wants to move in with me. I don't understand why he was so angry with me last night. It made me angry right back. I want so badly to talk to him, but then again I don't...*sigh*.

Currently Reading:

TITLE: The Plot Against America
AUTHOR: Philip Roth

Just read, but didn't post before I finished:

TITLE: The Corner Boys
AUTHOR: Geoffrey Beattie

(my copy was the hardcover red one)

TITLE: Digital Fortress
AUTHOR: Dan Brown

p.s. I think I'm done with my Dan Brown kick for now, or at least I hope I am. I've no interest whatsoever in reading his other novel, what is it? Oh yeah, Deception Point. Mostly I wanted to read Digital Fortress because it is about cryptography and computers. It was okay, but still I felt like the reader is always 2 steps ahead of the author at every moment. Still, an interesting look at the NSA and etc.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

our toilet is fixed, yay!

So we had quite the night last night: the toilet broke on us. And I don't mean clogged, it BROKE. The entire tank apparatus was shot to hell, which the maintenance guy who came to fix it this morning could see with a glance. He walked in, said "okay I'm going out to buy parts, be back later", and left. He was a very cool guy, though. Maybe a bit too comfortable (he asked if Dan & I like to "go natural" on our back deck, because he has several theories of what would attract a raccoon to hang out there - one does - one of his theories being human sexual smells, apparently! haha). Also, he told me he has a grandmother with the same name as me (that's probably the oldest person I've ever heard of with that name), and that he once had to spend several hours keeping a man in our apartment building company when the power went out, because he was afraid of the dark. What I don't understand is why someone would live alone if they couldn't handle the dark, but...yeah. Anyway, quite the morning! We were kind of miserable all night because we had to use the bathroom, but couldn't. That pretty much sucked. I was trying not to drink at all, which was awful because it was so hot - I've been drinking water like it's air, these past few days! I can't wait till we head back to CT; I hear it's supposed to be a bit more bearable, there. The plumber told me today that it's supposed to hit highs near 100 degrees this weekend! WHAT! And he also told me that last year, they had one day that hit 90, and all the rest were in the 70s. Way to choose the wrong summer to stay here, huh?

Currently Reading:

TITLE: Empire Falls
AUTHOR: Richard Russo

Monday, June 06, 2005

too damn hot

Arg what is up with this heat, gosh! I am dying here. I don't know why this year decided to skip spring almost entirely...we had a few warm-ish days, then it got cold again, and then - bam! - 80+ degrees, all the time. I hate it. Spring and fall are my favorite seasons, in large part because of the mild temperatures. And I've decided that winter pulls a close second and beats out summer any day, since you can always turn on heat or put on more clothes, but there's only so much one can take off! And I'm not a huge proponent of air-conditioning, so it looks like I'm going to have to suffer this weather...I suppose it wouldn't have been so bad if it had come upon us more gradually...

It got so bad yesterday that Dan and I gingerly got ready to go out (trying to move at little as possible in this heat, since every movement produces about a gallon of sweat) and walked over to Fall Creek to see Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. Very interesting! I didn't think I'd be so engaged by a story about greedy, capitalist bastards for over an hour, but I definitely was. Very well done.

In any case, I'm gonna go try to get some more work done, if my heat-hazed mind will allow it...

In the words of Ron Burgandy: "It's so warm. Milk was a bad choice."

Currently Reading:

TITLE: Affluenza
AUTHOR: John DeGraff, David Wann, Thomas H. Naylor

TITLE: Subculture: The Meaning of Style
AUTHOR: Dick Hebdige

TITLE: Empire Falls
AUTHOR: Richard Russo

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Tom Hanks!

Oh, my goodness - I can't believe I forgot one of the coolest things I did while I was in CT! My sister and I went to see Tom Hanks give the graduation address at Vassar! And boy, was it kinda weird being back...but I ran into some very cool people (Radiyah, Tara, Ian, and TC!) and saw several more that I recognized. The feeling of being back was indescribeable...very odd, off-putting. But it was so cool to see Tom Hanks give the address. Bethany & I arrived right as the procession was ending, and I was watching the professors to see if I recognized any of them (sadly, very few). All of the sudden, there's Fran (the president) bringing up the rear, with Tom Hanks at her side! He passed within a few feet of us, saying "Hi, kids" to the general adoring public, and Bethany was ecstatic.

We killed time until he gave his speech, and then watched it from high up on the hill. It was a very good speech, very Tom Hanks, and cute, but like my friend who graduated said (and I agree), there could have been a bit more to it. Oh, well. Graduation speeches are tough to write! Especially if one wants to avoid cliche, which is almost impossible to do these days. Anyway, I thought it was a very good speech. You can view it here, although I don't know for how long it will be up. Maybe I'll post it on my website, later on.

Anyway, better get back to work for now! Ciao.


Ack! I think I've got a lot of catching up to do!

I didn't write much while I was in CT because there were all of these pictures I had, that I needed to wait till I got back to Ithaca to upload. So, let's see what I've got...a few of them are going to be post-dated back into some of the old entries where I promised pictures, but most of them haven't even been discussed yet! This entry might be a bit convoluted, but here's what I've got:

First, there was Dad's Stonehenge-like art that he made at the Red Plate - my family took me out to eat for my birthday dinner on the weekend after my operation, since it was the first time we were all back together since the 8th! It was really nice - Dan came along, too, and we had creme brulee, mmmm. Earlier in the afternoon, we had a cake frosted with the kind of cream that you find in cannoli. My sisters found that at this bakery in Wesleyan, and we ate it with my grandparents. That's neither here nor there, but wow was that also good.

Next, here's the "series" that I took of the bag I knitted for Bethany (there's a purple one I made for Sarah, but I don't yet have the photos of that one). I took a "before" picture:

and an after one:

I think it turned out pretty hot, if I do say so myself...

And, lastly, Dan and I attended a conference in Hartford, Outgrowing Capitalism, where during the "propaganda" session of the day, we worked on a stencil with 2 other people, to create a layered effect (unfortunately my camera phone's capabilities doesn't quite do it justice).

Interestingly, this kid Keith that graduated a couple of years before me was also at the conference, on a whim. I think he enjoyed it as much as we did - hope so! I learned a lot of cool stuff. I hope they do more. Anyway, while I was killing time post-flag-stencil, I did a quick one, myself - my first stencil, which I have to say, I'm pretty proud of:

So, well, that's all I had on my camera. I thought there were a zillion more, but I guess not! Anyway, otherwise, not much else to catch up on, here. I am back to work post-Memorial Day, and it appears things are going pretty well on that front. I am reading Blankets by Craig Thompson and am in love with it - glad I finally got around to it, it's been on my reading list for years! And it's defintiely a quick read, but well worth it. What a beautiful book.

I'm actually gonna go read more of it, now. I will try to be back soon - I need to get better at posting regularly, so that I don't have to write so much each time!!

Currently Reading:

TITLE: Blankets
AUTHOR: Craig Thompson

TITLE: Affluenza
AUTHOR: John DeGraff, David Wann, Thomas H. Naylor