rallies & books

I'm so proud of Dan, although proud isn't quite the right word I want to use. I am so impressed by him, and his motivation when it comes to certain things, things that are important to him. He has been working so hard on organizing this rally against the CCIC's anti-immigration meeting tomorrow. He is a wonderful person, and I am lucky to have him in my life.

In other news, we went to visit Grandpa at the hospital again today; he seems all right but still very tired. I hope he will get to go home soon; I know he misses it. Afterwards, Mom, Dad, and I stopped for a beer and some calamari at the Prospect Cafe, which proceeded to get me drunk (I hadn't eaten much before that today). I don't know if I've ever really been drunk like that around my parents!! Haha. I think I held myself together pretty well, though, considering. Although I think I was a bit louder than usual... Anyway, then we stopped at the library before we returned home so I could return to work. And yes, I have another 5 books added to my already-teetering piles & piles of books. Ack! I don't think I'll ever get them done before I move...I'll be happy to get through a few of them, even, though!

Speaking of "getting through" a book, I am really digging War Fever! I just can't get over how good these stories are. It's been a long time since I've read any short stories - for a while I was big into them, especially O Henry and Salinger and the like, but ever since I really got into reading all of the "classics", I was in this mode of not wanting to waste my time on stories when I could be reading actual, entire books by Hemingway, Steinbeck, Joyce, Rand, Vonnegut! So, in any case, this is a first in a long time for me. And I'm quite enjoying it! It's so nice to be able to put the book down after one story and not have to remember what was going on when I pick it up again and start an entirely new one.

Ballard is a great writer, though - I am loving his predictions for the "future", from way back in the 80s and 90s! He is surprisingly actually very adept at predicting things, in many ways. Sure, a lot of his stories go a bit over the top, but he was also making a lot of political commentary about his own time, and what might happen if things were brought to their extremes. So I highly doubt he expected most of his stories to come to fruition in the real world.

Anyway, really good. I highly recommend it. As well as Why Girls Are Weird, which I am also thoroghly enjoying! I am so impressed by how well certain authors can really write our generation to a "T"...really neat.

Okay, well, back to sitting in front of the fan (this goddamn humidity!) and enjoying those books...hopefully I'll have new ones to post about tomorrow, or at least a new one, since I'm somewhat close to being done with the Ballard...

Currently Reading:

TITLE: War Fever
AUTHOR: J.G. Ballard


TITLE: Why Girls Are Weird
AUTHOR: Pamela Ribon

friends schmiends

I was just thinking about all the people that have come & gone in my life over the past 5 years or so. Actually, make that 10. I consider high school to be where those friendships really matter; before that, you are too young to really know you are, and friendships kind of come & go before you even realize what they are. Before you are 15, people don't know what group they want to be in or what kind of person they want to be, period. Not really to say that in high school, all of that falls into place. But I think that by the end of our freshman year, most of the groups of friends that were going to form, had formed. I didn't go to a huge school; I graduated with about 350 kids. And true, I did make new friends even in my 4 years of high school, but not nearly as many. In any case, we knew by our freshman year who was going to be the Popular Crowd, who the Geeks were, who the Theater Kids were, who made up the Weird Kids, the Studious Ones, the Badass Crowd, the Athletes (or Jocks, to use the more derogatory term). And plenty more, I'm sure. Some kids were several; there were a few who were none. I knew that the friendships I had had with those Popular Girls back in elementary school weren't ever going to come back, and mostly I didn't care. I had several amazing friends, girls and guys, who actually cared about my life, not who I was currently doing or what I was currently drinking/smoking/snorting. I dunno, I know looking back that I was somewhat of a Good Girl, but I didn't feel that way then. I can't say that I was ever certain of who I was or what I wanted, but I was finding myself, and learning what I wanted from myself in life.

But, I digress. A whole lot. I wanted to write about those people I've lost, because it makes me sad, and I miss them. And I wish I hadn't lost them. It's weird, because some times in my life I feel like I know too many people and I don't have any time for myself, that I am constantly going out and I just wish I could stay at home and curl up with a good book and some Cool Whip or something, haha. But then there are times in my life when I feel like I have no life. This is one of those times. I guess it's because I am living at my parents' house in the interim - after 2 whole years having my own apartment (and 4 more of "living on my own" if you count college, and the 2 summers in between that I lived in my own place), I am back here at #198, back where I started from, so to speak. Heh. I know it's just temporary, but it's very hard for me because for the time being, I am stuck here. It's difficult trying to have my own life and be an adult when I am living at my parents' house. Not to say that they are restrictive in any way! But it's just weird. Which is partly why I spend so much time at Dan's, but even then it's not like it's his place. We are both just hanging out at our parents' houses until we can move into our place in Boston in September. UGH that feels like so far away!

Anyway, I keep not talking about what I wanted to talk about! See, one of the really weird things about being at home is that it's sometimes so much like 1999, and then again so much NOT like then. Most of the people I know who used to live in my town or even the surrounding ones have moved on, much as I did. I am so lucky to have Jen around because she is definitely a CT girl at heart, and she is saving up money to buy a condo! (I'm so jealous! - Good for her!) And I was so lucky to have Marsha before she left for Japan, because she didn't want to move anywhere if she was going to Japan, of course! But mostly everyone else that I cared about is gone, or isn't really my friend anymore. And that's so sad! Not to say I was totally popular in high school and that I had plans every night, but it was definitely better than this. And even the people that are still around are mostly busy, because they have lives here and I don't. I just feel like I'm passing through - but for 2 months. How weird.

And then there are the people I was friends with in CT even just last year, people I spent a lot of time with, who just don't really want to hang out with me anymore, I guess. Jess, BJ, Steph, Mike, etc. At least Nate wants to hang out (I love that kid!), but even he is very often busy. Besides, he lives far away! Anyway, I just miss all of those people, but they of course too have moved on & have their own lives. They didn't have to have waited around for me on the rare occasions I came back to CT for holidays & stuff. But it is kind of sad that every time I try to contact them, they just don't seem interested. I know it's hard because I haven't been around much, but I try to keep in touch with people! Sad. Anyway, I'm lucky to have met a few very awesome people in the past year or so who are good friends. I guess I just have to go with that. They are awesome people, so I don't mind! :)

And then of course there are all of the people I'm looking forward to seeing up in Boston! Bethany, JB, Caitlin, Christine, Julia, Pete! Yay! Of course, I will probably have the same feeling of being lonely & friendless when I am up there, but at least it won't be like Ithaca, where I just HAD no friends at all. Heh.

Well, I have to go help Mommy with dinner. I will add more later. I don't think I am done with this entry. There was stuff I wanted to say, and I don't think I said it. Perhaps I'll give this another attempt later on. <3

Currently Reading:

TITLE: War Fever
AUTHOR: J.G. Ballard


TITLE: Why Girls Are Weird
AUTHOR: Pamela Ribon

war fever

I'm reading War Fever right now, and I highly recommend it. The author is hilarious. Granted, I have only thus far read "The Secret History of World War 3", the story for which I borrowed the book from the library, but I was laughing only a few sentences in. The story, written around 1990, tells the tale of our country when we re-elect Reagan into his third term in office, after his "luckless successor" fails miserably, putting the country into a recession and very desperate times (I don't think Ballard knew at the time that he was talking about Bush, Sr., but what a prescient man he was, huh?). So the House and Congress pass a law allowing Reagan to return, and from the instant he's back in office, the stock market swells with happiness, the nation's optimism is up, etc. However, since Reagan is so old already, the country worries about every little change in his health, and thus the government starts pushing news stories about the president's health - everything from his heart rate to his bowel movements - to the exclusion of everything else! So that when WW3 happens, no one really notices, as it is smushed in between regular updates on how Ronnie & Barb are doing (they do also follow the First Lady's bowel movements, as well). Every TV channel starts broadcasting the president's realtime heart rate on the air, too. In any case, I really pretty much just told you the entire story, but definitely not nearly as well as Mr. Ballard does, so I would still suggest you check out the book. Particularly because there are 12 other stories in that book! Which already look to be promising. As the inside cover tells you, "J.G. Ballard is remarkably adept at blurring the distinction between the realities of the present day and his disturbing scenarios of life in the very near future." I would recommend it. I'll let you know if it gets better, or worse, or just stays as funny as it was. :)

Last night was Dan's mother's and her fiance's Jack & Jill party, which was pretty fun since there was plenty of wine (and Dan and I had lambic to start, mmm) and wonderful food. The chocolate-dipped strawberries were to die for. Wow I want another one... Anyway, I wish them both the best of luck - they are the cutest couple. Their wedding will be in late August. (And I still need to find a dress, gah.) Dan's little sister wrote the sweetest poem to her new (to be) stepdad. It's wonderful how close the rest of Dan's family seems to each other. I understand how he isn't quite as close because he is an adult and lives his own life by now, but he is lucky to have such a nice family. I think, deep down, he really does love them, hehe.

Well, I'm off to read a little bit more while I wait for Dan to wake up. Ciao!

Currently Reading:
TITLE: War Fever
AUTHOR: J.G. Ballard


TITLE: Why Girls Are Weird
AUTHOR: Pamela Ribon

feeling better.

I just finally finished watching Camp on StarzTicket (couldn't finish it last night because my computer kept dropping the download connection), which was not a fabulous movie (storyline- or acting-wise), but has some fantastic performance numbers. And I'm not a huge musical theater fan! But I was really impressed by these kids. Hope they are all out there & doing well still. Most of them don't have extensive IMDb bios, but I'm sure they are probably doing a lot of Broadway or something, with their singing and dancing talents.

Anyway, today was a rough day and I was easily distracted from work for various reasons, but I had a nice talk with Mom after dinner, and then Jen and I went out to Avon to run a few errands together - I love that girl! She always manages to make me feel tons better. And she never fails to get a laugh out of me. :) Dozens, in fact! Heehee. So we hit Marshalls (I bought a t-shirt that says "Tart - like lemonade" and strawberry vanilla tea, yummy), CVS (needed to buy a mailing envelope for BookCrossing and birthday cards for Viv & Bhav!), Cosi (Vanilla Artic coffee, mmm), and attempted to go to Banana Republic (I need at least one if not two wedding dressed for this summer/fall! eep!), but it was closed. I love doing things like that with Jen, because we can talk no matter where we are, and she is a great person to shop with! Especially since I don't really like to shop in the first place - she gives wonderful advice and we always manage to get in & out of stores quickly! :)

In any case, despite the all the fun I had tonight, I was still incredibly worried about how things were with Danny, but I finally got ahold of him and he not only doesn't hate me but he still loves me, so I am relieved about that. I think we still have a few things to work out, but we love each other and I hope that means we can always work through things, as a team. Like Jen and I were saying earlier, what's most important to find in the person you love is companionship - you need to know that once all the initial attraction has worn off you are still going to be best friends, and will stick by each other for the rest of your lives. Y'know? Not that (hopefully) the attraction wears off entirely, but really I think what makes a relationship solid and lasting is when you see the person as your other half, your complement, your foundation. I dunno. That's at least how I see the relationships I take example from, such as my parents. And I love Daniel like that. He makes me a better person, and I feel like I can tell him anything & everything. I've never felt that way about a boyfriend before. I've never been this comfortable. Is that what love is?

Who knows.

Anyway, as a funny side note, I learned today (from this site's "manifesto" that Revlon makes a lotion called Revolotion. Haha I love great plays on words like that. What was the other one we were talking about the other day? Hmm. OH - Dan and I were talking about these clever right-wing ice cream names, I'll have to look them up & post them on here. Because while I'm no fan of the Bush camp, I won't hesitate to nod in the direction of an excellent play on words, whatever their political bent. :)

Oh, and I was on that site because I was making certain of the phrase "congratulations are in order" (my friend Jenny just finished defending her thesis & got her masters, whoo!) because while I always guess the right one, I never feel certain. Check out this thread for what appears to be the poster's definitive answer.

Okay, off to finish this damn book (see below)! I haven't had much time to read lately but I am SO ready to finish this one!! Not my favorite, but I guess it was entertaining enough. I'm looking forward to starting another one of the books on my teetering stacks soon, though...

Edit:Here's the ice cream site (Star Spangled Ice Cream), but I hope you aren't about to boost their sales! I only take appreciation-of-cleverness so far! Haha.

Currently Reading:

TITLE: C'est la Vie
AUTHOR: Suzy Gershman

haha, i dunno about this...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!

The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Currently Reading:

TITLE: C'est la Vie
AUTHOR: Suzy Gershman

grandpa

We went to see my grandfather in the hospital today; he had been admitted this afternoon because he was having trouble breathing. He wasn't having trouble by the time we saw him (around 7:30pm), but he was still looking very weak & out of it. Very hard to see him that way. But he knows he is loved, and I can tell he will be okay with it when his time comes. For everyone else's sake, I hope that's not for a while. But if he is suffering, I wish him only an easing of his pain, however that has to happen. He has lived a long & wonderful life, and is the nicest and most generous man I've ever met. He calls my mother and me and my sisters "angels". I think he is one, really.

Currently Reading:

TITLE: C'est la Vie
AUTHOR: Suzy Gershman

survey

(x) smoked a cigar
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
( ) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) slept with more than 15 people
( ) been called a slut
(x) had a one night stand
( ) slept with someone you don't even know their name
( ) seen someone die
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) gone on a blind date
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) been to Canada
(x) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten sushi
(x) been snowboarding
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach (what about on an abandoned highway?)
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone roller skating (for the first time when i was 21!)
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
(x) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple
( ) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
( ) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someone's hair
() gone skinny dipping

i'm feeling somewhat better today, thank goodness. thank you, Danny. <3

Currently Reading:

TITLE: C'est la Vie
AUTHOR: Suzy Gershman

"can you help me unravel my latest mistake..."

Gah. I've got that song in my head, and I've no idea what it even is! Heh. Well, I know I have been rather delinquent in my posting. Guess not much has been going on. Had a busy weekend - I felt like I was all over the place! On Friday, we (me, Dan, his mom, and her fiance) drove up to Ithaca with their big truck so that on Saturday we could disassemble & move out all of my big furniture, whoo! We drove back that afternoon and deposited the stuff in temporary storage at my parents' house. Wow I'm so relieved that is all over & done with. Now, we play the waiting game until September, pretty much! Dan and I will probably go up to Ithaca at least one more time before my lease is up on July 31st, but mostly I am moved out. I get to pack up all my kitchen stuff next time I go up, though, ugh. That's always the hardest part for me.

Then I spent Sunday after church unpacking my own car (I had also stuffed it to the gills up in NY) and taking naps in between. (I was pretty exhausted from 8+ hours of driving and staying up late to take apart my shelves and desks and whatnot!) That evening, Dan & I went to Litchfield to a wine-tasting/outdoor-movies party at Amber's new boyfriend's house - it was a lot of fun! I haven't seen Amber or Danica in a long time, and it was nice to catch up. And I'm so happy for Amber, that she's found such a wonderful guy!

The next day Dan & I pretty much kicked around Oakville until 5 or 6, and then drove down to the White Plains station to take the train into NYC. We walked from Grand Central to Chelsea for a party at my friend Caroline's house. The view of the fireworks wasn't great, but I had a good time with Danny. Plus, it was wonderful to see Caroline - it had been years! We are definitely talking making plans for a weekend in the future so we can catch up, since we didn't really get to talk much as she played hostess. So yay, fun! But what a loooong weekend. I'm glad in a way that it is over, as much as I don't really want to be at work right now...and yes, I'm still at work. Taking a break because I desperately need one, but it's been such a long day already. The program I am writing seems to have endless problems. =\ I don't know what to do - I hate having this burden on my shoulders! As much as I love being involved in the project I am working on, it is VERY difficult to be the only programmer! Now I understand how overwhelmed my predecessor at this company must sometimes feel. But, I do love what I do. I just worry that others won't love what I do...as in, what I produce...ack!

Anyway, I should get back to work so that I can get home before midnight tonight! I could definitely use a little bit of relaxation time tonight. Dan probably won't be home till later on, anyway, so it'll be nice just to have some quiet "me" time.

Although, at this rate, that might not happen for several days...!

Currently Reading:

TITLE: C'est la Vie
AUTHOR: Suzy Gershman


Recently finished:
TITLE: Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them
AUTHOR: Al Franken

Been meaning to read that one for ages, too; just finally got around to it. I love checking books off my list! Even though it never stops growing...*sigh*