jaywalker FO!

This is an awful picture (I am getting a camera with a flash SOON, I mean it -- I actually have one picked out, just have to get it!), but I just wanted to indicate that I actually have been doing some knitting, albeit not as much as I was for a while there (blame the long commute, for one thing). But, I've finished the Jaywalkers and I just adore them; they fit great and I love the pattern, especially with the yarn I chose to use, because the ankles and the toes turned out so pretty. The foot part, not so much, because the color pooled weirdly, but I figure that's the least important part, anyway. Right?


pattern: Grumperina's Jaywalker on Magknits
yarn: Knit Picks Sock Garden in Autumn somethingorother (thanks, Christine!)

In other leisure time activities, reading is going really slowly, despite my having so much allotted time for it (read: my commute) these days. But I really am liking White Teeth. Beautifully written. It seems that most people love one or her other, On Beauty, but not both. Perhaps I'll see sometime in the future, but in the meantime I've got plenty of other books in my piles!

Anyway, lots of things to go do. Goodnight! xo

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: White Teeth AUTHOR: Zadie Smith
	TITLE: Harvesting the Heart AUTHOR: Jodi Picoult

rock-a-bye

I've been having trouble sleeping through the night again lately; I keep waking up every few hours. At least a few times every night, definitely. I think part of it is because I have this fear of being late to work, which is ridiculous because not only do I take the T, which runs like every 10 minutes, but they are also really flexible at work about what time you get in. I just think a big part of it is also nerves; hopefully that anxiety will subside as I settle in.

I'm also having very weird & stressful dreams. In one, I was a teacher (starting a new job), and I missed an entire day of school because I overslept by 5 minutes. In another, I was about to go swimming at a pool with my old boss and some mutual acquaintances, and I found out my ex had cancer.

All, really scary & terribly stressful. I don't know what has been going through my subconscious lately....

More another time, but I'm exhausted. I should go to bed soon. xoxo

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: White Teeth AUTHOR: Zadie Smith
	TITLE: Harvesting the Heart AUTHOR: Jodi Picoult

a new beginning

Well, today was my first day! The train ride was loooong, but so long as I get a seat & can read relatively undisturbed, I guess that'll be okay. Work itself went pretty well; it mostly entailed paperwork & tours & a fun lunch out with a lot of people I already knew (both from having worked there before, and having friends and my soon-to-be-brother-in-law there). It seems pretty cool so far, but it's a huge difference from working at home (of course), so I think it's going to take a lot of getting used to. Hopefully, I'll just stay really busy & the days will fly by. Hopefully!!!

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: White Teeth AUTHOR: Zadie Smith
	TITLE: Harvesting the Heart AUTHOR: Jodi Picoult

stop: movie time

Last night, we saw Knocked Up, which I just loved, and would absolutely recommend. Still a big fan of Judd Apatow. Not to mention most of his usual cast.

Movies (out in theaters, or soon to be) that I want to see in the near future:
*Ocean's 13
*Waitress
*Paris, je t'aime
*La Môme/La Vie en Rose
*Eagle vs. Shark (15 june)
*Evan Almighty (22 june)
*The Simpsons Movie (27 july)
*The Ten (3 august, hopefully)
*Superbad (17 august)

There are probably others too, but those are the ones I remember.

(As for summer blockbuster-types (all third installments, so far! odd), I've already seen S-M3 & POC3; I might end up seeing S3 in DVD format at some point, but I have never gone to see any one of those in the theater, even though I've always enjoyed them well enough.)

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: White Teeth AUTHOR: Zadie Smith

are you happy now

This is a very emotional time of my life right now, for various reasons, so I guess there are going to be more of these personal posts than usual, although for many reasons I'll probably keep things pretty abstract.

I guess recently I've just been thinking a lot about happiness -- particularly, my own. I feel like I should focus on that -- that's what they say you should do when you are feeling down -- but I don't feel like there really is anything in my life right now that makes me unhappy, save for one thing, and I'm trying to work on that. Granted, I am terribly stressed about work, both the old & new jobs. That is just something I'm going to have to wait on. So why can't I wait on figuring out the other stuff, the relationship stuff? I'm incredibly impatient to get everything sorted out in my life, to get back to more stable footing. But I don't feel like I have control over eveything. And the stuff that I do have control over? I am happy with. I enjoy seeing my friends, reading, knitting. I don't require a lot to be content.

I keep thinking maybe I should be looking for something further, but what other area of my life do I look in? The only other thing I can think of is school, and while I know I do want to go back eventually, I don't feel like that's a pressing concern of mine. I'm definitely not chomping at the bit. Maybe one thing I should do is try to figure out what I'd want to go back to school for. Maybe I ought to start taking a class once I'm settled into the new job, if I can squeeze it in. It's not like I need to add more activity to my life, but I wouldn't mind trying to figure something more out about myself. Right now, I just don't know where to go.

The new job is going to be a pretty big upheaval, I think, so I guess I'll see how things go there, first. But I have been doing a lot of thinking about this, and I really can't figure out what more it is that I want out of life. I'm happy with where things are. I'm not anxious to have children, and I don't want to get married. I don't even have much ambition in terms of career. So...what is it? What am I working towards? What am I looking forward to? I need to figure these things out.

Yep, I may win for most cryptic post ever! xo

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: White Teeth AUTHOR: Zadie Smith

does the "US" part stand for "u suck"?

As much as I hate to use "u" in place of "you", I'm seriously starting to wonder if, in fact, the first 2 letters in "USPS" don't actually stand for "United States", after all....

This is the second time in less than a month that I've received "special delivery" from the USPS, which basically means an empty envelope, correctly stamped & addressed to me, sealed in a clear plastic sleeve that is printed on the outside with an apology of "sorry, sometimes these things happen, can't be helped!" and instructions to help prevent this in the future by being sure to seal my mail carefully -- as if I had anything to do with the mail not reaching me.

The first time it happened, I figured, hey, no sweat. It's the first time in 26 years that I've ever seen something like that, and it was more novelty (since the missing mail itself, I could live without) than anything else. But the second time? Now I'm starting to worry.

Neither of the pieces of mail were particularly unusual or anything. One of them was a normal envelope with my paystubs from work (the inside of which arrived several days later in the mailbox, as my address was also printed on the paystub!), and the most recent one was a Netflix mailer, of which I only received the piece of paper with my address on it (if you don't get Netflix, this is kind of hard to explain, but suffice it to say, the DVD did not arrive).

Dan is convinced that someone at the post office finally figured out what all those red envelopes are, haha.

I love the USPS 99% of the time, as I'm a big fan of writing & receiving letters, and of course now of Netflix. Usually, they come through really well. But especially since being up here in Boston, things have kind of taken a downturn in my love affair with the postal service. I am sure some of that has to do with the fact that I'm residing in the most densely populated place that I've ever lived, but I don't know. You'd think they would have ways to deal with that, since Boston has been around longer than almost anywhere else!

Well, I'll continue to write letters & trust the post office, for the most part. But I have to say, I'm really grateful for being able to pay bills online. Gives me (slightly) more peace of mind. xoxo

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: Loyal to the Sky AUTHOR: Marisa Handler

sweetpotatoknits.com

I'll still be keeping up with this blog, but I am probably going to be posting more knitting-in-progress shots on my "new" (it was set up very early this year, I just haven't touched it in a while) site, sweetpotatoknits.com. I will definitely still post all finished knits here, but I thought I'd start a separate site for more knitting-oriented content (or, at least pictures!). It's still in its very rough early stages, as evidenced by the titlebar reading "title here", but I'll get working on it in the next few weeks. For now, there are a few progress shots of the baby sweater I've been working on.

I'm going to get back to watching the rest of Shane, now. xoxo

wow

A heartfelt thank you to all of you who were so kind to me regarding my post yesterday, leaving me messages of encouragement & concern. I am doing much better, I think (although I still definitely do feel off-track); I probably should have posted later in the day when things were looking brighter (the weather outside still sucked, but I was feeling much less down, at least). I was thinking of skipping the Boston Knit Out meeting at 6:30 so I could get some work done, but I decided I'd go and help out, because there was a big mailing that had to be prepared (sorting, folding, stuffing envelopes, stamping). I got there a little early & had a nice chat with Patience, who has taken on the burden of running the entire Knit Out (understandably, Lucy needed to step back from doing it this year!), and we were joined by others throughout the next couple of hours. All the while, we were preparing the mailings, as well as trying to hold a meeting, so it was kind of chaotic! It would all have been totally fine, except for this one woman who was kind of aggressive with everything. She seemed angry that the BKO didn't have better organization around its PR, but we didn't know what to tell her -- everything is going through a huge change in leadership at the moment, and it's a really small volunteer organization. So that kind of put a damper on things, at least in terms of the meeting, especially because I was starting to grow hungrier & hungrier as an extra hour of the meeting went by, oy.

Luckily, when the meeting was through, I was headed to Joanna's for a Knit Night/going away party, as she is moving to New York City this month. I hate meeting all these awesome people through SNB, only to see them leave. It feels like that group is also going through something of an upheaval, but luckily it always seems to be composed of cool knitters, and hopefully thus attracts them, too! Anyway, Joanna's was fun; there was some delicious food, and there were some very cool new people to meet.

I got some more work done on this baby sweater I've been commissioned to do; I am enjoying knitting with Knit Picks Shine Worsted, even though the pattern (which I'll link to in a future post, I am sure) is very simple:


Hopefully I'll get even more done this evening, as Bethany & I plan to hang out & watch some Gilmore Girls (I've made it to season 6, finally) after we stop by the yummy Scooper Bowl this evening! xoxo

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: Loyal to the Sky AUTHOR: Marisa Handler

rainy day blues

I'm in such a funk. I feel like I just want to start the whole year over. I managed to lock myself out this morning, so I had to slog through the rain in my quickly-soaked jeans and sweatshirt and slippery flip-flops (I hadn't realized it was raining until after I had locked the door behind myself on my way out) to pick up the key from Bethany all the way over in the financial district. She really saved my life, as I couldn't have worked until I could get back in. Ugh. I know I am just feeling sorry for myself this morning, but I don't feel like anything is going right, these days. It's like I turned off at the wrong exit on the highway a few months ago, and can't seem to get myself back on the right road. I feel like nothing is in my control right now, in my life. I hate that feeling. I want control back. How do I get it back??

buzz buzz

My father just emailed me a photo of the gorgeous dragonfly sculpture he created (with a mixture of welding and stained glass, I believe), which is up in the backyard of the house I grew up in:


(Click the photo for a better view.)
The background of the picture, which is now beautifully landscaped thanks to his Master Gardener skills (yet another of his fascinating hobbies), at one time was home to our sandbox, metal swingset, and our dog Daisy's yard. What a change. And it feels like just yesterday that I was baking up mud pies.

Currently Reading:
	TITLE: Loyal to the Sky AUTHOR: Marisa Handler