Monday, March 17, 2008

ringing joyful and triumphant

No, this post has nothing really do to with the sentiment in its title. When I thought "ringing", the first thing that came to my head were the above lyrics, which is from one of my favorite scenes ever in Veronica Mars. (The song is apparently by Mike Doughty. It's excellent.)

Anyway, why was I thinking "ringing"? Because I've been suffering from a mild form of tinnitus for the past several days, maybe even a week? It's not really fun. In my right ear, it sounds like there is a machine running or a car idling continually in the distance. 24/7.

I don't know if that's been contributing to my insomnia or not, but there's another thing that has been plaguing me. The last several nights, I haven't been able to get myself to actually sleep until 2 or 3 in the morning. Even if I'm lying in bed, eyes closed. Although normally it manifests itself in my not even thinking I'm tired enough to go lay down. I think part of it is I hate that moment between waking & sleep where you have to lie there, at the mercy of just thinking whatever thoughts happen upon you. Maybe I try to exhaust myself so I can just fall into a blissful, deep sleep - but I've never been that kind of a person. So I don't know what I'm expecting. I need to figure out a better way to get myself unconscious - without resorting to drugs or, you know, knocking myself out with a cast-iron pan.

Ah, today's gonna be difficult, what with the lack of sleep. At least office noises (and listening to "I Hear the Bells") help me ignore the ringing in my ears.

xo

1 comment:

Jeanette said...

You have my sympathy. I have tinnitus in my left ear, it is rather annoying.