trains & canes

I waited forever for a D-line train today. So long, in fact, that I was convinced that they weren't running those trains today! I saw at least 3 of each other line go by before a D came through. And the worst part? Bostonians are cutthroat. Instead of spending the waiting time sitting on the benches along the wall, I have to hover near where the doors open, because otherwise I would have to trade sitting on the bench for getting a seat on the train. Seriously. I have gone almost entire train rides without sitting, even though I use a cane!! So I learned my lesson pretty quickly - suffer up front (standing for a while on the platform), for rewards down the line (getting a seat!). Rather religious of a concept, if you think about it. Anyway, I won't generalize to all Bostonians - I know there are plenty of you very nice people out there who do offer me seats on the train. I even commiserated with another woman waiting for the D this morning, and she was so nice as to allow me to get on the train before her (even though I'm pretty sure she had been waiting even longer than I had!).

This always makes me stop & wonder what I will be like with normal hips...will it be as big of a deal to me, then? I know part of why I like sitting is because it's an hour-long ride, and I'd much prefer to be able to read to keep myself from dying of boredom. But part of that is also related to the cane, again, because it's rather difficult to try to lean on the cane with my right arm, hold onto a railing of some sort with the left, and also hold a book or paper (don't even mention turning pages!). So, caneless, that in itself will be easier. And, I wonder sometimes if I've ever had a really "normal" outlook on standing - I think it's always been a bit difficult for me to stand for any long period of time. I think I thought that was just normal. But I think if it didn't hurt a bit, I'd be much more inclined to want to stand, or at least to be okay with it. Right? I mean, normal people's hips don't hurt every time they stand or walk for a while, I don't think. And I can't really remember a time that mine didn't bother me in some way.

So, will I be less cutthroat myself, more inclined to go with the flow? I hope so. But I know that's a ways off, and sometimes I hate to watch myself in the meantime. It's like the public transportation version of road rage, and I can't stand it.